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October 31, 2005

Sleep?

DON'T SLEEP WITH WATCH

Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity. Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health.

DON'T SLEEP WITH PHONE

Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere near you is not encouraged. Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks, but please put the phone as far as possible. Scientists have proved that electrical items including mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used. These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system. Therefore if you need to put your mobile phone near you, switch it off first.

DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP

People who sleep with make up might have skin problems in the long run. Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring. You will also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.

DON'T SLEEP WITH BRA

Scientists in America have discovered those that wear bras for more than 12 hours have a higher risk of getting breast cancer. So go to bed without it.

DON'T SLEEP WITH OTHERS' HUSBAND / WIFE

You may never wake up again.

do you hate your job?

When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this:


On your way home from work, stop at your local pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson.


Be very sure you get this brand.


When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone and the TV so you will not be disturbed.


Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair.


Then, open the package and remove the thermometer.


Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.




Now the fun part begins:-



Take out the literature and read it carefully.


You will notice that in very small print there is the following statement...

"Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested."    






Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times...


"I am so glad I do not work for quality control at Johnson and Johnson."

Joke lng ulit!

Chair Man of the Board   

  Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.

Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."

Blonde Coffee Drinker   

  A blonde says to a brunette, ''Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt.''
The brunette says, ''Well maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup.''

Prison Confessions   

  There's a man in the prison hospital on death row having a conversation with his friend:
''Charlie, please...I'm going to die...but I gotta tell you something. I was the one who stole all the money from our business.''

''No problem, my friend. You can die in peace.''

''But, I was the one who killed your brother when he was only 15.''

''No problem, my friend. You can die in peace. I forgive you.''

''Oh, my friend. You are a real good friend...but there's just one more thing. I had sexual relations with your wife...''

''No problem, my friend. You can die in peace... because I was the one who POISONED YOU, MOTHER******! ''

types of girls according to technology

HARD DISK GIRLS: she remembers everything, FOREVER RAM GIRLS: she forgets about you, the moment u turn her off WINDOW GIRLS: everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her. SCREENSAVER GIRLS: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun INTERNET GIRLS: Difficult to access SERVER GIRLS: Always busy when you need her. MULTIMEDIA GIRLS: She makes horrible thing look beautiful CD-ROM GIRLS: She is always faster and faster. EMAIL GIRLS: Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense. VIRUS GIRLS: Also known as "wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes, install herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose something, if don't try you uninstall her, you will lose everything...

October 11, 2005

this is a VERY good Story

Every Sunday afternoon, after the morning service at the church, the Pastor and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand out Gospel Tracts. This particular Sunday afternoon, as it came time for the Pastor and his son to go to the streets with their tracts, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring down rain. The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest clothes and said: "OK dad, I'm ready." His Pastor dad asked, "Ready for what?" "Dad, it's time we gather our tracts together and go out." Dad responds, "Son, it's very cold outside and it's pouring down rain." The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking "But Dad, aren't people still going to Hell, even though it's raining?" Dad answers, "Son, I am not going out in this weather." Despondently, the boy ask, "Dad, can I go? Please??" His father hesitated for a moment then said, "Son, you can go. Here are the tracts, be careful son." "Thanks Dad!" And with that, he was off and out into the rain. This eleven year old boy walked the streets of the town going door to door Gospel Tract. After two hours of walking in the rain, he was soaking, and handing everybody he met in the street a bone-chilled wet and down to his VERY LAST TRACT. He stopped on a corner and looked for someone to hand a tract to, but the streets were totally deserted. Then he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the door bell. He rang the bell, but nobody answered. He rang it again and again, but still no one answered. He waited but still no answer. Finally, this eleven year old trooper turned to leave, but something stopped him. Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked loudly on the door with his fist. He waited, something holding him there on the front porch. He rang again and this time the door slowly opened. Standing in the doorway was a very sad-looking elderly lady. She softly asked "What can I do for you son?" With radiant eyes and smile that lit up her world, this little boy said: "Ma'am, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you that *JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU* and I came to give you my very last Gospel Tract which will tell you all about JESUS and His great LOVE." With that, he handed her his last tract and turned to leave. She called to him as he departed. "Thank you, son! And God Bless You!" Well, the following Sunday morning in church Pastor Dad was in the pulpit. As the service began, he asked, "Does anybody have testimony or want to say anything?" Slowly, in the back row of the church, an elderly lady stood to her feet. As she began to speak, a look of glorious radiance came from her face, "No one in this church knows me. I've never been here before. You see, before last Sunday I was not a Christian. My husband passed on some time ago, leaving me totally alone in this world. Last Sunday, being a particularly cold and rainy day, it was even more so in my heart that I came to the end of the line where I no longer had any hope or will to live. So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of my home. I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof, then stood on the chair and fastened the other end of the rope around my neck. Standing on that chair, so lonely and brokenhearted I was about to leap off, when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs startled me. I thought, "I'll wait a minute, and whoever it is will go away." I waited and waited, but the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and more insistent, and then the person ringing also started knocking loudly. I thought to myself again, "Who on earth could this be? Nobody ever rings my bell or comes to see me." I loosened the rope from my neck and started for the front door, all the while the bell rang louder and louder. When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes, for there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy I had ever seen in my life. His SMILE, oh, I could never describe it to you! The words that came from his mouth caused my heart that had long been dead, TObLEAP TO LIFE as he exclaimed with a cherub-like voice, "Ma'am, I just came to tell you that JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU." Then he gave me this Gospel Tract that I now hold in my hand. As the little angel disappeared back out into the cold and rain, I closed my door and read slowly every word of this Gospel Tract. Then I went up to my attic to get my rope and chair. I wouldn't be needing them any more. You see- "I am now a Happy Child of the KING. Since the address of your church was on the back of this Gospel Tract; I have come here to personally say THANK YOU TO God's little angel who came just in the nick of time and by so doing, spared my soul from eternity in hell." There was not a dry eye in the church. And as shouts of praise and honor to THE KING resounded off the very rafters of the building. Pastor Dad descended from the pulpit to the front pew where the little angel was seated. He took his son in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably. Probably no church has had a more glorious moment, and probably this universe has never seen a Papa that was more filled with love & honor for his son. Except for one. This Father also allowed His Son to go out into a cold and dark world. He received His Son back with joy unspeakable, and as all of heaven Shouted praises and honor to The King, the Father sat His beloved Son on a throne far above all principality and power and every name that is named.

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